Mini Sparks of Meaning Session 3
Nina Jankovic from Spark Positive and iwibdus were back this week with more mini sparks of meaning.
Nina started the call talking about how Facebook can be hurtful if you are not engaging with people on that social media platform. Facebook and other social media sites are designed for you to see other people’s perfect lives. Obviously this isn’t true! But showing vulnerability can be hard. You need to be authentic to make these social media platforms work for you. Engage with them and make sure you post things, don’t just keep scrolling.
We discussed reminders from last week – that emotions aren’t permanent and we should use them as data for helping us understand our world.
We then talked about our plan vs the reality
Do you feel like the plan was a straight line from A to B? We all know that it is never that easy but when you add COVID-19 into the mix, we all feel that the plan has gone out the window!
First, we were all hopeful, we organised and cleaned. We learned new things. Oh Man! This is now long term… so what is happening??Nina Jankovic – Mini Sparks of Meaning 2020
3 Elements of Self Compassion
- Self Kindness – understanding not punishing
- Sense of Common Humanity – everyone is going through this
- Mindfulness – non judgementally accepting that this is what it is
You can be in the moment. Challenging yourself to do things differently.
Letting go, Accepting, Just being, Observing, Non- reacting, Non-judging
Ask yourself – what am I willing to let go of, in order to be a little more happy?
Not achieving or striving for anything, but letting go of things.
Decrease the amount of things that you have to choose everyday. Make simple routines so you have to decide less. This could be the same routine to get up in the morning, make yourself a cup of coffee and then clean your teeth. Or it could be that you have a meal plan for the week so people stop asking you what is the plan – they can see the plan!
What do you choose?
Questions and Comments from the Audience
Having a routine can give some certainty. This creates some certainty in uncertain times.Amaia Izar de le Fuente
The kids are looking for certainty from us and turning to us in these uncertain times. It’s great here to have a safe space to help me be a grown up and support me.Natalie from &LadyMontegreen
We need to explain some simple truths to ourselves and our (older) children
- Certainty was never there. It’s a false construct that we live with everyday. We need to role model good behaviours and dealing with uncertainty. Show them how to do it.
- Acknowledge that they have lost something, They are losing some of their childhood, missing their friends and family. Recognise this and talk about it.
- Use your advantages – your family is used to changes and different situations. Show them that they are well set up for these uncertain times as they have done it before.
- Discuss compassion for people who need it more than us. Ask them what they can do to help others.
How do you claim time for yourself?
Firstly, you can’t help others if you can’t help yourself! We all have different ways of being kind to ourselves. Guilt can come from society or Facebook(!) but it isn’t true!
You are more successful if you do take care of yourself – think of putting on your oxygen mask before helping others.
If you have any comments or questions for Nina or the iwibdus, please contact us